After pregnancy loss

In my decades of supporting women and couples in their quest to make better babies (thus families)  naturally, I am continually horrified that this is seen as a short term fee for service not a life long project.

As the longest standing pregnancy/fertility worker in this field at least in Brisbane and NZ I beg to differ – which no doubt upsets many.

Women want – we may be caught up in the tale (short term versus long term). We as acupuncture and natural therapy – and even standard medical health care professionals (although this being life is outside their scope of practice)  seem to revel in promising .. .


Are we in the market selling this?

Below is unfortunately an ever more common story.


2 days ago

I was messaged (now the norm)
“Can I see you today?
Instead of Tuesday?”

Today . .

“I lost the baby last night”. (13 weeks). “In great pain – what do I do?
Should I go to hospital?
Note – I am NOT a doctor in the usual sense.
I am a continuity of care provider – a touchstone.
She started seeing me 4 years ago to make a baby.

I only see couples.
He came in also.
Mr 5% (Apparently ‘fertile’ by the WHO 2010 dictates – (although the average farmer will not even look at  a bull unless he is over 90% looking normal sperm).

They eventually ‘gave up’ TTGP. They sold everything, bought land to build on later, and went off on a tour around the country in their truck. They are now living in whilst building happens.

Unexpectedly pregnant.
All a colossal adjustment.
Much arguing and ground taking – they have been together for 14 years ..

He was not happy about pregnancy, and expected her to stay working  – she ecstatic about pregnancy not about the pressure of working.

After much assistance from me – to get past worries and fears – she appeared to be fine – till last weekend.

I could see what state she was in – and how tricky the pregnancy (10 days ago) was. She became bullied /harassed by her in-laws when they knew she was at home alone.  Her fury internalised.

Throughout this pregnancy I had been looking at her Blood deficient tongue crack and her not good skin (pregnancy mask from over a decade ago). Her cool belly – I kept cupping cold from – thigh now so allergic to moxa, the second portion of this treatment I can no longer do – and this is crucial – hence I now send people home with how and what to do themselves (given it WAS a home remedy).


What to do?

Needles – ideally I use Ki 9 (the sorest spot) and GV 20 as over the decades they have been my standards – as a full stop sometimes – as a beginning. We pulled cold out of her navel and ended with my Yin tonic ways – incl the Ki 9 but also Ki 6, 25.

On Saturday with a cup on her belly – (rescue the Yang) I had her read one of my eBooks – ‘Maternal Age Versus Baby Readiness’.  She saw what was happening and why. Great resources as they explain what and why so well.

To the reader . . . I also have ‘Avoiding Early Pregnancy Loss’. (If you wish – do let me know and I will send to you).


She left with my pregnancy manual What Dads Can Do (pub 2005 and forever pertinent).  The energy changes that allow a well pregnancy and how the partner at home can be the changes needed to return to optimal health and loving pregnancy enjoyment for both of them).

We observed the crack that has been appearing on her tongue over the past 5-10 years (gone today). She went off happy, warmer, and with some Blood tonics. She was already on the progesterone cream to lift her BBT (vaginal) as it was at best not getting above 36.9C (after at least 4 hours sleep). She was not happy about taking more temps – so we have no idea leading into the midnight placental/baby departure.


Today . . (2 days on)
Lost baby and vast clots coming out.
Not slept all night and in vast pain – esp in ovary areas – should she go to hospital?
I said – if going anywhere (me thinking that the car ride would be terrible over the 90 minutes it would take to get to me) come to me – with him.

So often  .
The relationship rescue.
She was so furious (and at him through out the pregnancy)
And felt safe enough in her marriage to be so . . .
Reality: gone – all dreams and future as she had seen it/lived the wonder of growing another being within.

Others possibly saying  ‘you can have another’.
Not knowing whether this will ever . .
He may not want – BUT – they can’t go backwards in time – now she has carried – she will want a babe in arms and all the hopes and dreams she had until now.


What may have happened?

On reflection – she can see in hindsight that she stopped feeling pregnant likely on the past Monday.
Baby may not have been so stable anyway – what with ?? no idea what the sperm were like – and both of them older – and in the best shape possible as always eating organic and him ever having been vaccinated.

She felt from a week ago – aches and pains she get sin her body prior to bleeding monthly. (Not a lot these days). Her breasts were less full.. . How? Rage and the heat engendered . . in someone already Blood and Yin deficient, with a history of fury within.

What really happened in session? On their arrival (90 minutes in car) she needed to change – and I

(#1)- gave her the safe intimate care pads to bleed on – amazingly dry on always,vastly more absorbent and with a healing negative ion strip to assist life lived well.

(#2) – I used the vibrational remedies in their drinking water – of course he thought he did not need. .

(#3) – Vibrational cream in her belly.

1 – We chatted. (#4)
Though she was in pain – we spent maybe an hour – to get him on the same page’. He suggested that he was fine, feeling nothing. Stories of life (we learn through story telling) covered my son’s not apparently feeling anything when a friend killed himself – waves of grief coming off him he was unaware of . . .
Stories of other people and their losses, reframing this to become a gift.
Stories of past soul leaving . . .and returning – of soul contracts and of the likelihood of a quick pregnancy after this loss (I have noticed that are more fertile immediately).

2 – What next?

If he has a sperm test and it is better than 5% now that they have been around the country, and less stressed /more naturally living with seasons.) Immediate further pregnancy . .

See this one as a gift – fulfilling a soul contract. A gift to allow the next one coming through – for them to to wake up and do the job better (if they wanted to ).  Knowing that they can’t survive with them on different sides of the baby line – he as most men – not knowing that he wants a baby till his is in his arms.

The most important ally – each other
The most important thing I could do – bond them together – not allow the past cracking apart to win.


3 – What did I do ‘in session’?

(#5) Checked in at points GB 25 and Liv 13 and took her tongue picture so she could see the changes later. After the lengthy story telling getting both in a different space away from the past 10 hours, calm down, on the table, (#6)  she was slathered in magnesium gel, (#7) then Liv 2 and sore L liv 14, GB 24 inserted.
(#8) More discussions – then R Co 4, bil Ki 8 – sorest – and very painful GB 34 special point – 1 cun down – (resentment/gall stones).

Off to loo again – then as in pain – (#9)  sorest GB 41 area and bil Ki 8

(#10) Chest gouge – gently at first – to mobilise the grief/what is blocking the Upper Heater.

Touch is so important – very slow and gentle to begin with.
Getting deeper never faster – as we move through the layers.
Lymph – otherwise known to acupuncture people as Damp.  . Phlegm – that which obstructs.
Chakra work – deep gouging as I could get in – to undo the CV 17 area.

(#11) Started the ’round and round’ to get the lymph to move

Very slow
Very gentle

Very light to begin with

Surfaces of pads of fingers.

Always clockwise

Always when a ‘busy’ uterus – lift off the pubic bone
Follow the edges of the bones all around as though a bowl.


(#12)  added in my deep lymphatic groove moves to see how much we needed to shift.

I start with the right hand side – again –

Very gentle and slow.

Pads of fingers only – 3 x moves one side – even up with other.
Repeat as often as you like.

(#13) Lower body . .

Following the inguinal edge – again – very slow and butterfly touch to begin – 3 x each side – alternate. .


(#14)More story telling my own miscarriage after an abortion – and how simple it is to forget that the emotions govern the physical (Acup 101) – the need to look after herself to allow the grief, the acceptance of the gift of this life she had briefly, and to both go forwards – him getting a sperm test mentioned 3 x – and to live more in the moment.


Where we want to be: together to make

(#14) – I had his hands on my hands as I guided him through the moves on her belly (butterfly wings touch) – she possibly has not had him (past the moxa sacral fan that gave her such relief before they arrived). She shed tears with him working on her – of love . . and acceptance . . ..

On my leaving the room – he told her how beautiful she was. He was in awe of her strength – and after no sleep, losing the most precious thing that had ever happened to her – she was at peace. She told me that was so grateful for all I do . . I wonder how the potential hospital visit would have stacked up – against a wise woman’s heartful way of being. Maternal rescues are so often needed. .

(#15) I asked her to choose an Aura Soma bottle. It was number 22 and when I read out what it does, and why it may have been chosen – she was further in awe.  We used some on her.

Rose Pink over Pink : Compassion and self-acceptance. The more we find the compassion in the process of ‘seeing’ ourselves clearly, the more we can accept of ourselves.

As we allow the love and compassion from above that resides in our depths (pink in our unconscious), we may discover the infinite wisdom within that enables us to truly see and accept ourselves (rose pink energy expressed consciously). In the lightness of being that comes with the openness to give and receive love, we may move beyond thinking to pure feeling and the aspiration to love unconditionally.

(#16) She was sent home with a pack of pads, some vibrational essences to help the healing, a tub of the cream that goes with these and some Chinese herbs to assist the clearance of the ‘products of conception’ – plus Vit E with selenium as this was the only thing that was mentioned in naturopathic texts + 40 years ago to help with ‘infertility’ – stopped deficient rat mums from reabsorbing their young – to me – the horror of pretending a session is the needles – surely has been highlighted here.

(#17) I followed this up with sending the online Self Care and Self Discovery courses I have designed – all the eBooks resources and how of course – how to touch each other – plus the cup and moxa to use – and of course the eBook resources that will help them work through how to do the next project intentionally.

She left glowing, radiant and in no pain.


Question – ‘What was the treatment’?
The container the ‘vital parts’ sat within?
What might I mean – the reframing – getting out of The Story . .

The loving caring compassion that we ooze out as humans – and the space thus afforded to make different sense of – to allow a new  .. . to appear.

I suspect I could have achieved all of this without the needles.

Energy follows thought
My intention – to bond them together  . .
And to have them get pregnant immediately – if his sperm is OK – we will see.  .

Will he do a test?
Why sperm health matters – plus how to read  a sperm test.

Up to both of them . .

Families are made much like houses built.

Foundation up.

(After planning/preparation and much attention to details)
I am not aware that it is possible to TRY to build a house.


If you are interested further in being the one that is there when nothing else is working . .
Maybe start exploring what else there is that may be done.

We all may need to Step Up . .




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