As an acupuncturist who had worked at the edge of possibilities, I was used to being consulted after all other options had been exhausted. Twenty five years ago, my then husband asked of a work colleague “How is your baby” – but the expected usual happy response of a ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ was tempered by the fact of his newborn daughter’s imminent death.
My husband felt the need to offer solace, and said that he felt that maybe I could do something. As at the time we had our own ‘hopeless case’ – our massively brain injured baby – we knew the desperation of having one’s offspring given up on.
So, at 2 weeks of age, I saw Simone for the first time – a scrap of humanity, actively dying. She had been born with advanced leukaemia, very small with a tiny placenta, and was given no treatment and no chance of living past a month maximum.
She looked out at the world from, protruding bug eyes, from a skeletal face, with withered limbs, a baggy bum, and a massively distended abdomen. She had haemorrhaged within her first week of life, and when she came to me, there were spontaneous nasal and anal bleeds. She had a weird red line encircling part of her iris, within the bright yellow “whites” of the eye, and was covered with small red dots, above the level of orange/red.
When I saw her, I suggested that I could treat her twice daily, for as long as it took, expecting to be offering only comfort treatment, having no idea of what may occur – just that were I that child, I would have needed compassion, and were I her mother; I would have been outraged and wanted someone to at least try their skills.
Whilst we would have not left an animal in this protracted dying state, due to her humanity, it was sanctioned, and apparently necessary, that her suffering be prolonged. Her parents were offered the choice of leaving her in the hospital to die or bringing her home to die.
Not wanting to limit matters, I decided to offer every chance of wholeness, combining healing on every level I could access. I set about launching a multi disciplinary team approach, drawing on the differing skills and vibrational resonances that many of my colleagues were working with. I figured that Simone’s spirit was very aware of the chaos and trauma that surrounded her and her parents, and so her first requirement was for a healing space to protect and surround her higher self to be afforded clarity and peace.
I found a Reiki channel who was able to do ‘absent’ and hands-on work; a metaphysical counsellor who also worked behind the scenes; a vibrational master who concocted remedies, and a holistic doctor prescribed nutritional additives that enriched every bottle of formula. This is all in addition to my twice daily ministrations.
I thought that what I could see was that it was just going to be a drawn out conclusion (imminent death). I also knew that as I had been called into apparently ‘hopeless cases’ before, one never knows what is possible – if the quality and quantity of life improved, who knows? To me at the beginning, the eventual outcome looked to be the same as the hospital prognosis – but I did something different to alter the outcome – we all pitched together to see what changing her balance would do.
I just did the day that presented itself.
Her mother had emotionally shut down, so she had stopped breastfeeding. Both her parents were coping by smoking a lot – to the extent I often had to brush the ash off baby’s face, before starting treatment. Her father came twice daily, after driving the 25 km one way trip, and sat with me as I attempted to counsel him into going into bat for his daughter. His major problem proved eventually to be the interface with the medical profession, as time showed that Simone was responding, and was attempting to heal.
My initial treatment was intended to make her more comfortable, by addressing her perceived spiritual needs – the body only was broken – with all treatments geared to the present, averting apparent crises.
I ignored the very limiting PHYSICAL medical diagnosis, and informed Dad that I was not treating the cancer, but the fertile ground it grew in. Having had my own baby daughter live-in ’disaster’ in my own life, I was interested in the ‘why’ more than the ‘how’ and hence in the absence of apparent answers, did one breath at a time. I was intending to return Simone’s being to a normal state of functioning, and would ‘hand over’ the rest – to her Highest Good/“God’/life essence/whatever. I could move so much – what else needed doing would have to become clear as we were on an edge. Her spirit was surely intact – what could we do starting here?
What I had to work on physically was spontaneous bleeding, green/red faeces, bright yellow urine and a bright orange/red blotchy skin. Her first indications of receiving assistance, were that her hands and feet were less chilled to the touch, and her colour settled and calmed somewhat. She appeared more ‘with it’ and now wanted her bottle.
The ‘real’ patients were always her parents.
Her mother hated me – a logical response – I was extending the trauma.
Dad was desperate enough to try anything – and to his credit, he never argued, only listened and drew his own conclusions – after watching healing happen regularly within our safe home space. Neither of them had faced her imminent death, (a shocking thing to have to do post birth) and over the days I tried to get dad to ring the various parent support groups, to work through what was coming up for them.
Within a week, Simone had a second major haemorrhage and nearly bled out. Whilst in the hospital, her father saw her death certificate on her file, filled out only needing a date and a signature for completion. She came home after this floppy and listless, refusing all nourishment or water, looking pale as alabaster, with dull lifeless eyes. She stayed like this, drifting in and out of consciousness for a couple of days. She hung onto the thread of life, and eventually, her parents rang one of the baby-dying-self-help services.
With the intensive counselling given, and just as they had accepted the finality of it all, and were deciding upon which music to play at her memorial, and what site on their property to bury her, the energy shifted. As the parents’ perceptions altered, working through the trauma energy and moving into a clearer space, Simone seemed to be given the space to decide ‘what next?’
She started looking more alert and sought out a bottle again. I suggested that as she had signalled her intention, it was our turn to fight for her. I doubted that what I was doing with the various metaphysical massage techniques, acupuncture and moxa could affect the return to normal functioning AND fight the disease process with the minute amount of blood that she had left in her body. She needed blood replenished.
So I said – “Please go to the hospital and demand a transfusion”. Understandably the staff were very reluctant to prolong the inevitable, but dad did not leave until she had more blood on board.
More blood was NOT enough though.
Her levels of awareness, irritability, appetite, poohing and sleeping were our measures of progress. Her very distended, growing abdomen (liver and spleen enlargement) had distended her ribs, and they splayed out alarmingly. All the while, her abdomen grew, starting her coughing trying to draw breath in the limited confines of her bulging (three dimensional) belly contents.
Initially I used needles after the basic Tui Na (Chinese paediatric massage techniques). As she deteriorated, and after it took 15 minutes to stop bleeding from one of the ear points I had used, the Metamorphic technique – a metaphysical healing massage – was resorted to. Each hands-on Reiki session changed her complexion from multi coloured to clear – it was remarkable seeing healing as we watched.
It became increasingly obvious, especially after I used advanced acupuncture, that immense amounts of good could and were being achieved, but we needed some extra assistance – ‘real/ tangible physical’ help also to complete the healing team that were working so well together. Our immediate issue/enemy was now the presence of the swelling organs that were impinging upon her breathing.
Again dad went back to the hospital.
Again the hospital did not want to prolong matters, as they felt the child should be left in peace to fulfil her destiny (very soon dying). Eventually dad left with a prescription for Prednisone, to assist the swelling. Prior to taking this, her belly looked as though it would explode – but after 4 days on the medication, with the swelling was obviously subsiding, and she was able to breathe easier. After the second blood transfusion there was no more green pooh.
Weeks passed – the hospital social worker had rung to wonder how she was going – (after all she was supposed to be dead by now). The hospital staff convinced the parents to do tests – there were bone marrow tests, spinal taps and all manner of invasive processes – none with anaesthetic – as that itself may kill her. She was of great curiosity value. All the while dad was told that she had such bad blood that she would surely die. All the while I was telling dad that we hadn’t finished yet – and her having only half normal cells was great – as we started off with none!!!!
Six and a half weeks after her initial treatment, she appeared to be in remission.
Then the real battle began
Eventually a different oncologist thought to start invasive treatment, as in his words – “Prednisone never cured cancer”. Simone’s main specialist was on holiday – he said that even if he thought he had one chance in a million to help her by using it, the chemotherapy would either kill her – or – just by altering her developing brain it would wreck her future functionality.
What does chemo do?
Target rapidly growing cells.
What happens in a 3 month old baby?
Rapid cell division – especially in the brain . . .
Her mother finally decided to take an interest – maybe baby would not die ???? Maybe her kid would live. She then teamed up with the hospital solicitors and was going to kick Dad out of home, and have all the consents signed by those who would take over as Simone’s guardians (we all know alternative medicine is all hot air . .. and only doctors have answers that save people . . .) if he did not agree voluntarily.
What about what had happened in front of her???
I can’t imagine how Dad felt, as he had spent 3 hours of every day, AFTER driving the 25 Km journey one way four times daily for the last nearly two months watching his daughter return to health in front of him – seen graphically with his own eyes – there is no arguing with the massive colour changes she went through whilst being treated by either the Reiki channel or me. He was also being strengthened by my common sense counselling, and my acting to protect and save her.
When I personally went into the hospital to plead her case – to leave her to continue the healing that had been so affective so far – we got no further on in the discussion than “What is your medical qualification?” – as if all that had been done to date was of nuisance value only. What had happened was obviously out down to the only things that this framework see as being useful interventions – the Predisone and the transfusions. If ever there was a case for using all that there is – surely this is it. The team approach, with a sensible healer as architect worked.
But this is not Hollywood. There are no last minute saviours. Although they were cast as such by our culture, and given free rein.
I never knew what happened next – after the ‘hopeless kid’ (left to die) went into remission, and they started to pump her full of toxic chemicals, after withdrawing all the previously life affirming assistance. We were not allowed to continue as we had, in case she caught an infection or haemorrhaged ‘with all of that travelling’ (as if she could have gotten any more ill than when she first arrived), and that our ‘treatment ‘ might interfere with their treatment.
Why do I mention this at all?
Because sometimes apparent miracles happen. We in the west do not have all the answers. Possibly should we open our eyes and minds and hearts – there is more to being human than the mechanics of the vehicle we reside within temporarily (especially if we see ourselves as having a spirit/soul).
This account of the workings of a small band of healers who chose to allow “God” / to not limit the outcome of an apparently medical foregone conclusion could happen in anyone’s life – so could the artillery of apparent ‘good’ be played.
Just what would you do, if it were your daughter?
Just what would you do if in the face of obvious healing, you were bulldozed into the dominant medicalised reality?
These are questions we all need to grapple with, as we are randomly called to account in our own lives, and then we may find that there is no clear ‘black’ and ‘white’ in real life.
It really means we sometimes need to ask ‘hard’ questions of ourselves – and sometimes the growth involved in answering these is well worth the journey.
There are no guarantees about white picket fences – and the real reasons for even having a baby/being here may not be the ones that we see on the surface.
What about You?
If you have/are a ’hopeless’ case – I suggest you find someone who can offer some hope and get on with it – breath is the first criteria – all else is changeable IF you have the right order and pieces fitting together – and grace will be there.